Comments on: Children’s Feelings

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 11 May 2018 18:37:58 +0000

Thank you so much for this story, I really enjoyed reading it. My own life is the reason that I believe this is such a important thing to teach parents! If parents can teach their kids this kind of trust in them, the kids will come to them about things that happen to them (physical and sexual abuse, drug use etc.) and many issues can be resolved or prevented. Raising a child with good trust in their parents will lead to a adult who will be able to properly trust others with their feelings and emotions as well. I grew up being punished for my emotions with statements like, “I’ll give you something to cry about.” And if you were emotional in my household you were ignored or told to go to your room get control of yourself and then try to talk. Because of that upbringing I didn’t reach out to my parents for help when I really needed it, but instead I walled myself off and kept everything to myself. Today I have incredible anxiety and I still really struggle with ever asking for help even from my husband. To me deep down somewhere, part of me still believes that asking for help is akin to shame and guilt caused by not being able to deal with the problem by myself. I am trying very hard to teach my child trust in me and give him a good ear for his feelings and emotions, but I definitely feel a bit of a emotional cripple when it comes to modeling that good behavior in my own life. After all children definitely do learn from our example much more than we wish they would. Thank you again for this story and thank you for reminding me to keep trying to be the best I can be for my family.

By: Shannon Lewis

Shannon Lewis — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 14:15:36 +0000

Thank you so much for this read. Sometimes, we really do think that we are handling situations the best way we know how. I really enjoy reading your blogs. I have used some of your alternative ways in communicating and found them very effective. Thank you.❤

By: Andrea Williams

Andrea Williams — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 09:01:09 +0000

Thank you for this reminder and examples. Guiding my 16 yr old son towards adulthood has made me more aware that I myself am a product of parenting that struggled. Aware of my own relationship to guilt and how that effects my dealing with his feelings.
Empathy holds so many answers. Key is authenticity, self awareness and compassion for others and our self. I need to practice this same behaviour and inner dialogue to gradually unhook from some of my own childhood guilt issues. And keep on doing this even in times when it is unsuccessful. Thanks again. Helped me to refocus.

By: Nicholas Kleve

Nicholas Kleve — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 03:57:05 +0000

Deb,

What a great post you shared about talking to our children. You are definitely correct. How we talk to our children drastically affects their feelings when it comes to responsibility, guilt, and consequences. Some parents I have worked with completely dismiss their children’s feelings in many of the ways you listed in your post. When parents are presented with opportunities of teachable moments, it is the truly effective parents who can keep their children’s feelings as a focus. I am not saying all disciplining consequences should result in just talking with their children “about their feelings.” Still, it is important to be aware of our children’s feelings and not dismiss those feelings. How we help our children handle their feelings growing up defines who they become as adults.

Nicholas Kleve
Professional Educator
Youth Leadership and Parenting Expert

By: Deb

Deb — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 21:24:41 +0000

In reply to Cynthia Washington. You're welcome. Enjoy your teen, most parents dread the teen years, but with good communication, teens are so fun and interesting and never again will we have as much passion and energy...they grow out of the irritating behavior eventually!

By: Deb

Deb — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 21:21:31 +0000

In reply to Rajalkashmi. I SO agree! thank you for visiting.

By: Deb

Deb — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 21:16:05 +0000

In reply to Tiffani. Thank you for your comments and additional insight into children's feelings, Happy parenting!

By: Mechelle Liedeman

Mechelle Liedeman — Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:11:40 +0000

Thank you for your post,it was very informative and content i desperately needed to read as i sometimes feel at a loss coping with the highly pressured demands of motherhood.

Thank you

By: Rajalkashmi

Rajalkashmi — Sun, 27 May 2012 05:43:38 +0000

Communicating with the children and and acknowledging theier feelings not only help them to take responsibility for their actions but to have them develop the trust in the parents and also to have high self esteem and face the challenges with confidence.

By: Cynthia Washington

Cynthia Washington — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:11:18 +0000

Thank you for the examples, this really have helped me to talk to my 13 year old.