The pandemic has drastically altered my life, how about you?  I am readjusting to a new routine and I'm offering you free daily Zoom parenting webinars (this link is to the Facebook page) during Safe at Home Quarantine. I am happy to contribute and do my part to help all you parents (and grandparents) survive parenting on quarantine.

Time for ALL free Zoom Positive Parenting Meetings:

11 AM Pacific Time.  Noon Mountain Time.  1 PM Central Time.  2 PM Eastern Time

Get your Zoom link to join us here.

Schedule this week:

Monday - Learn how to teach self-calming to your children. You will also learn the tool of using I-messages so your child hears you when you make a request.

Tuesday - Natural Consequences

Wednesday - Logical Consequences part 1

Thursday - Logical Consequences part 2

Friday - Family Team Building

Until July 10 - Redirecting Children's Behavior (RCB).

During these 6 weeks I will teach the entire curriculum live on zoom. 

Each day will be one half hour lesson. 

There is no fee to attend the live sessions. 

I will be using the RCB book and workbook.

The recordings will be posted to my Positive Parenting Online Recorded Class which you can purchase for a special pandemic price of $99 plus mailing charge. 

This will give you:

• book, workbook and Dial-A-Discipline
• access to ALL daily recordings during the class plus including ALL past zoom meetings 
• 3 live 60 minute group Q&A calls:  Friday, June 12 at 9am EST, Friday, June 26 at 9pm EST and Sunday, July 5 at Noon EST.
• Discounted private coaching ($100/hr).

Beginning July 10, the price will resume back to the pre-pandemic price of $199 for lifetime access. 

So please be sure to take advantage of the 50% off offer today.

I am surviving parenting on quarantine with you.

In December, I had moved in with my daughter, Briana, and her family in Louisville, Kentucky to help.  My daughter, incapacitated with morning sickness, pregnant with her 3rd child, needs help.  As her morning sickness dissipated in mid and late January, I was again traveling and teaching.  I also taught a class in Louisville that Briana and her husband attended.  What a great class!  Then the epidemic, now pandemic hit.  I guess it is grace of God that I am quarantined with Briana's lovely family in rural Kentucky.

I am glad I am not quarantined alone in either California or New York.

Eldon and Arlo (my grandson's) had their last day of school a couple of weeks ago.  We are adjusting to "Safe at Home" quarantine, which is what our governor calls it. I'm used to having a good amount of time while they are in school to do my work. Having them home has certainly been an adjustment for me as well!  I would have loved to jump on the Zoom free conference frenzy right away.  However, my days have been spent cooking, cleaning and most importantly, entertaining my 6 and 3 year old grand kids.

When it became apparent I am here awhile, I bought a travel trailer.  I put it in the backyard so I could have my own space and retreat when I needed it.  Plus, I have always wanted to have a "glamper". Following many families that are living in and renovating their RV"s, I get so many great ideas for ways to fix up my trailer.  As it turns out, many of these families homeschool their kids.  I get so many ideas for things to do with the kids while we are at home and essentially homeschooling.  My favorite is #boredombuster.  Go follow me on Instagram as I that is where I share the #boredombusters and other fun activities that I do with Eldon and Arlo.

We've finally settled into somewhat of a routine.

At the encouragement of many friends and clients, I will begin teaching on Zoom. I am a little nervous.  Will I be able to keep a schedule in the midst of this chaos?  Do you really need help with behavior challenges with your kids while we are in this crisis?  If my experience is any indication, I would say yes.  I am still following my own parenting advice best I can.  Luckily, there are 3 adults in the house and we can take turns.  If someone is getting fed up, there is usually someone else that can step in and take over.  I am still getting edgy at times.  First, I have picked the topic I need to refresh!  Now I am offering the things that my audience most needs to learn.

The webinars will be just 30 minutes.

For my sanity and yours, I will break the topics into half hour segments.  I will teach daily, Monday through Friday, at 11am Pacific, Noon Mountain, 1pm Central, or 2pm Eastern.  The webinars are live on Zoom.  So you must attend at the meeting time.  The recordings are available for purchase for $99.This includes access to ALL the recordings since April 3, and ALL new content as it's created.  Plus you will get the book, workbook and Dial mailed to you.

Will you help spread the word and help parents all over the world?

I would really appreciate your support and encouragement to help me make these free webinars available to everyone.  There are so many parents in this world, struggling and suffering.  Which means their kids are receiving the brunt of the parents stress.  I CAN HELP MAKE THIS BETTER!  So please both attend free zoom classes and share with your social networks, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn to help spread the word.

That is all for now.  I surely hope to see you soon on one of these free zoom parenting webinars.  And please feel free to ask questions below.

Be Safe at Home and Happy Parenting!

Debbie

The post Free Zoom Parenting Webinars during Safe at Home Quarantine appeared first on Positive Parenting.

by Deborah Godfrey

When it comes to schoolwork and Positive Parenting homework tips, I am passionate about teaching kids responsibility and ownership. Much of this happens in the second session of my online recorded positive parenting class.  The report card exercise I teach illuminates motivation.  One problem that often occurs is that the parent can be more "invested" than the children in schoolwork, homework and grades.  When this happens, the kids don't have to care because the parents do all the work.  There are homework tips, from kindergarten on... many ways to instill this responsibility and ownership.  Yes, we need to be involved and helpful. But the way we are involved matters very much in whether the child takes responsibility or not.  My favorite story of success in this area was with my daughter Michelle.

Positive Parenting Homework Tips in Action

About a week before parent conferences, Michelle, then 9 years old, was saying that she didn’t want me to go to her conference. She would get really upset and say, "You can’t go! You’re not going!" I was stumped. I kept asking her why she didn’t want me to go and wondering what she had done that she didn’t want me to find out about! A couple of days before the conference, we were having our nightly bedtime chat. She suddenly said, "That’s not fair, you get to see my report card before I do!"

I was speechless.

I thought for a moment and realized that I have always taught my kids that their schoolwork is theirs. So this was HER effort, HER work, HER job and by gosh, HER grades! I said, "Michelle, you are absolutely RIGHT! I never thought about it before, but those are YOUR grades and I have no right to see them before you do! I’ll make sure your teacher lets you see them before me at conference, OK?" She nodded and triumphantly went to sleep. I didn’t get another complaint from her and she got to review her report card (with some hesitance from the teacher!) before I did. So here are some additional ideas for teaching your child ownership of his/her homework:

Positive Parenting Homework Tips

• Watch use of pronouns. Notice when you say, "We need to work on our homework." Be accurate and replace it with, "You need to work on your homework, would you like me to help you?"
• When you offer to help, become clear about your role. Providing support means asking my child to read me the directions (or read the directions to her) until she figures out what she needs to do.
• Questions encourage your child to think, "What do you think that means?", "How could you make that happen?" or "What do you need to do?”
• Ask their opinion first. When your child brings you a graded paper, find out her feelings about it first. Look for signs of excitement or discouragement and make a comment, "You look proud" or "You look bummed".

As the school year starts, it's always a great time to start fresh, try something new and get on a better track.  I have a recording of a live workshop available called, "Taking the hassles Out Of Homework".  In this 83 minute workshop recording, you will learn the following:

Track One (8 minutes)

• 11 Keys for Successful Homework
• Why would a child have 5 hours of homework a night?  What can you do about it?
• Your experience of homework and how that relates to your kids
• At 6 minutes there is a 2 minutes visualization.  I suggest you listen to this portion of the MP3 when you are in a quiet place so that you can fully experience the exercise.

Track Two (54 minutes)

• Participants share their experience
• Suggestions on how to use your experience for the benefit of your children
• What are the key factors for success during the elementary years?  During the middle school years?  In High School?
• What can you do to create a hunger to learn in your children?
• How can you help a failing child?
• A mom in the workshop shares an example of the success of these ideas.
• What statements do you make that can accidentally hurt your child regarding their schoolwork?
• Statements that can fix that and help motivate them in a way that works.
• How to manage the pressure on children?
• Key questions to ask your children to make them successful at their schoolwork?
• The type of environment is best for creating a homework routine?
• What are the questions you need to ask to make your children have the best learning environment for the learning style?
• Questions you need to ask to really help them?
• When should you seek outside help?
• What was the best parenting advice an educational consultant gave me regarding my child’s sleep and schoolwork?
• How do you balance helping vs. enabling them to be irresponsible?  What criteria can you use to determine when to let go and when to get involved?  It’s EASY!
• A fun idea if your kids get all stressed out.
• Help your child figure out how they can be successful.

Track Three (22  minutes)

• Setting limits on your availability to teach them responsibility.
• What is my job and what is the teacher’s job regarding homework?  You will be surprised at how easy your job as the parent is to be the most helpful to your child.
• Learn ideas to not do too much for your kids.
• Ideas to help get kids through the homework when they get overwhelmed.
• Learn several ways to understand what your children are trying to communicate when they are whining, giving up or fighting you about their homework.
• How do your children’s roles in the family affect their success on school?

Don't wait!  Start the school year out with a new perspective, fresh ideas, and lots of tools to instill responsibility in your child's schoolwork and homework.  Purchase this workshop on MP3 now, and listen live to parents learning these tips and ideas.

Happy Parenting!

The post Positive Parenting Homework Tips appeared first on Positive Parenting.

I received this PARENTING SUCCESS STORY BELOW from a mom who is using my Power Struggles Video Class: PLUS my Dial-A-Discipline Tool:

From Candy:

I just finished reading all the way through the "8 Ways To Get Out of a Power Struggle". And I have a parenting success story! I have also been using the Dial-A-Discipline. One bit of information that really worked was the Broken Record. I used it with my two year old to get her to sit down and stop distracting others during church. I have also realized that getting attention is mostly where all of her misbehavior comes from.

So I used the 4 steps to redirect attention.

I didn't look at her or talk to her and summoned her to me with a hand signal. And began to give loving touch. That worked extremely well to calm her so I could start to train. Then when she wanted to get up to distract people, I determined that I would say, "Eden will learn to sit down." Then I give her a kiss on the cheek and plop her gently down. When she started to get up, I would just repeat the same thing. Then I started to count. I thought, "Here we go," getting ready for 30 or 40 repetitions. It only took about 4 or 5 times.

Mind you, I was doing this right in the middle of a small group that wanted the environment to be really quiet.

I was simply whispering in her ear each time so I didn't even distract the group while I rubbed her back. My husband has usually had to take over by talking out loud in a threatening way and disturbing the group. Or one of us has had to take her completely out of the room. So these new techniques are great alternatives and improvements. When I left to nurse the baby, I gave Eden to my husband to sit on his lap. Then when I came back to the group, I gave someone else the baby. And came right over to sit down on the seat that I had been training her to sit down on, and she put her head on my lap. Wow! My husband had been getting ready to take over like he usually does, but he could tell that what I was doing was working. So he just left the situation alone and let me use these techniques. I am so glad I found these teachings.

Way to go, Candy, Great job!

The post Parenting Success Story appeared first on Positive Parenting.

by Debbie Godfrey

I’m listening to a stressed-out mom of three describing her middle child. “Her voice is so shrill, jaw-clenching, grating on my nerves. I can’t help it, I just lose it with her!” This of course leads to a devastating meltdown of epic proportions. So even though mom is doing her best to survive the moment, the end result is further disruption of their relationship and even worse behavior over time. This leaves mom and daughter exhausted, hurt, remorseful, and feeling sad and like failures.

We begin to talk about mom’s patterns, world views, and life lessons. It turns out this particular child is pressing on nerves that need healing in this mom. I coach mom in meeting this child’s need before they escalate into hysterics, at which point it’s nearly impossible to come back gracefully. We talk about the patience, the unconditional love, and understanding that would go into her meeting those needs, which could be as simple as removing a shoe, providing a particular snack, or retrieving a toy from another room. While these acts of service could be viewed as serving or giving in to a manipulative child, in this particular case it is not. This child really needs help in with these things in order to cope with the frustrations of an unpredictable world.

How do I know this? At first, it’s just a hunch, based on knowing this family’s circumstances and also helping thousands of parents over my 25 years working as a parenting education teacher and coach. Over time, I’ve learned to hear the underlying message of perfection of design in these types of conflicts. Something in mom (or dad) needs healing or growth. The child needs something in order to feel seen, heard, and understood. Without insight, introspection, and pushing through emotional challenges, the parent-child relationship will erode over time. The teen years with this child could become even more disruptive, leaving a chasm from which many relationships never heal.

The alternative is for me to help the parent see the gift she has to give this child and receive from this child. It is no accident that this is your child, and you are this child’s parent. I believe we all have something to give and something to learn from one other. And the loudest, angriest, most conflict-ridden relationships are the ones with the biggest healing potential. Transcending these conflicts, healing the relationship, leads to closeness and connection. This will give the parent a heart filled with love, appreciation, and gratitude at seeing how providing for the child allows the child to blossom into their full beauty. The child, feeling loved and understood, will begin to navigate their world in a much more cooperative and reasonable fashion.

Was my hunch correct? Days later, mom confirms. By helping her daughter with her small frustrations, before they become overwhelming, she has been able to prevent numerous battles. And mother and daughter both healed by the ensuing understanding and love.

www.positiveparenting.com

debbie@positiveparenting.com

Happy Parenting!

The post Your Child For A Reason appeared first on Positive Parenting.

Kids Fighting Solved

Dona was having lots of battles over squabbling, kids fighting and out of control behavior while driving in the car. The six foster children, ages 2-7 would behave in a very distracting manner and mom was having no success with asking, telling and nagging. In the parenting class she was inspired to try something different. Now when the kids get out of control, she calmly pulls over to the side of the road and shuts the ignition off. She waits with a smile on her face and no words for the kids fighting to stop.  Every time, the children calm quickly. AND mom feels much better at keeping her cool while redirecting the children to behave more cooperatively. Hooray, Dona!

Dona Perry – RCB participant, Camarillo, CA

What do you think about Dona's success?  Was it a helpful tip for you?  Please share on your social network below.  Do you have a similar idea or success story that would help other parents?  Please submit your idea in the comment section below.  Thank you for visiting!

The post Kids Fighting in Car – Solved! appeared first on Positive Parenting.

Terrible Twos Parenting Success

A parenting success story.

The terrible twos was a struggle for Jayne. As a result, Brandon, her son was defiant, getting into everything, hitting and other typical terrible two behaviors. So, the power struggles were out of control.  And, mom was worn out, tired and feeling very frustrated. From what she was learning in the Positive Parenting class, she decided to give Brandon more power around the house by asking him to help her with tasks and giving him responsibilities which he could do “all by himself”. Therefore, she also began spending much more time playing with him on his level. By the 4th week of class, mom found she had created a much calmer, more rewarding relationship with her son. Mom was also surprised to find her son became much less needy of her constant attention because he felt secure, valuable and loved. Great parenting, Mom!

Jayne Smith, RCB Participant, Camarillo

Some tips for Parenting Success to go from Terrible Two's to Terrific Twos:

1. Embrace the "Terrific Twos"! This age is a beautiful mix of energy, curiosity, and growth so t's time to guide and nurture, setting the stage for the future. Let's turn challenges like power struggles into opportunities for connection and learning!
2. The Terrific Twos aren't terrible at all! They're filled with exploration, experimentation, and boundless energy. It's our role to channel this into positive growth and development. Let's engage and enjoy these precious moments!
3. As two-year-olds test boundaries with their newfound curiosity and energy, remember it’s all a part of their development. Let’s focus on guiding and teaching them, while setting up positive parenting patterns for the future.
4. Facing "Terrible Twos" challenges? Reframe them as Terrific Twos moments! And it’s a time of immense growth and brain development. Patient guidance now can shape the way we parent and impact our children long into the future.
5. Two-year-olds are on a journey of discovery, with boundless energy and curiosity. So, it’s not just a phase but a crucial development stage. Embrace their exploration and provide the guidance they need to thrive and learn.

For a series parenting success videos for two year olds, please visit our Instagram Highlights.

The post Terrible Twos Parenting Success appeared first on Positive Parenting.

Christi Marquez, RCB Grad

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I received this email the other day from Lori, a mom that took my parenting classes about 15 years ago.

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Please also tweet, like and share the article with your friends and loved ones.

Thank you so much and Happy Parenting!

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Brittany is an extremely well behaved, cooperative child; however Mom and dad were a bit frustrated with her frequent whining. About 2 weeks into the class, mom shared that Brittany had said to her, "Mom. Have you noticed I'm not whining anymore?" Mom replied, "Well Brittany, yes I have noticed it! Why do you think that is?" Brittany said, "I don't know! I just stopped doing it!" I asked mom what she had been doing differently. She said she had been reacting less to all the little things. Instead of getting into arguments over tasks, she had taken the attitude of, "How will we work this out" or "How can we handle this situation?" She found that a calm discussion with her daughter brought a great deal more willingness for her to do what was expected of her. Dad backed mom up in the situations he had the opportunity to address as well. Mom had also been spending more quiet time with Brittany, praying and teaching her the power of positive thinking self-talk. Mom overheard Brittany in her room one morning before a test at school, telling herself all the positive messages they had been discussing. Mom felt so good inside that she was able to influence her daughter in such a special way. Terrific job, mom & Dad! Keep up the great work!

Janine and David Kidd, Thousand Oaks

The post Whining stops in 8 year old appeared first on Positive Parenting.