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Family Meeting
Guidelines
Reprinted with permission from the "Redirecting Children's
Behavior" Workbook
Copyright © 1994 INCAF
Family Meetings can
be a very successful method of enhancing family cooperation and
closeness. Here are some ideas for the format of a family meeting.
Hold the meeting once
a week at a time when everyone in the family can attend. Keep this time
sacred -- don't keep changing it at everyone's convenience. Mark the time
on a calendar and make it as important as a business meeting.
Take the phone off
the hook so there are no interruptions. This helps your children see how
valuable the meetings are to you also.
Decisions should be
made by family consensus, not majority vote. If an agreement cannot be
reached after a discussion, table the decision until the next meeting.
Elect a new leader
and secretary at each meeting. The leader runs the meeting and calls on
members. The leadership should rotate every meeting. Other members should
be encouraged to support the leader. The secretary can take notes on what
was discussed and what decisions were reached.
Begin the meetings
with compliments to each family member. Use words like, "I love you
because...," or, "I'm grateful for you because...," Teach
children to say thank you after they receive a compliment.
Keep an
"agenda" list on the refrigerator and discuss it at each family
meeting time. As problems come up during the week, write them down to be
discussed at family meetings.
Go on to problem
solving. Does anyone have a problem they would like to bring up? Teach
your children that if she complains, it is helpful to think of a
solution. A person who is not part of the solution is part of the
problem.
Coordinate everyone's
calendar for the next week and plan some activities together as a family.
For more productive
meetings, sit at a cleared table and chairs versus the family sitting
room. Don't have this meeting during a mealtime.
Always end the
meeting by allowing the leader to pick a fun way to close it. Suggestions
are choosing a bedtime snack for everyone, delaying dessert until after
the meeting, playing a game, etc.
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